Sometimes, actually many times in our lives, we come across something so cool and so great. Something we didn’t have beforehand and didn’t even know was missing from our lives until we found it… CrossFit, the love of our life, a new love for rare sneaker collecting, an epic television series or movie trilogy. When we find it all we can think is, “Wowee! How great is this! My life is now a little better thanks to this thing/hobby/person/experience!”
But over time, sometimes some people that have brought in this awesome and amazing thing in their lives begin to feel as though this thing that they have is now theirs… Well of course! It plays such a big part in their lives therefore they deserve some opinion on how it is to serve them, they are ENTITLED to it.
CrossFit completely reshaping the qualification process of the Games as well as the way the games are produced and presented.
Star Wars bringing out a second trilogy of films 20 years after the first. And then doing it again another 15 years later.
Your favourite pub taking your favourite meal off the menu.
As much as all of these changes may affect you, you are entitled to none of them. Just because you love the CrossFit Games the way they were doesn’t mean you are right that these changes aren’t going to lead to something better. Just because you absolutely love the first Star Wars trilogy doesn’t mean you have ownership over how the next three should be made. And just because your favourite pub got rid of your meal doesn’t mean you are entitled to kick up a stink and demand it gets returned to the menu.
Why do we sometimes feel such a strong sense of entitlement to something we love? Usually it is out of ego and a fear of change.
What people lack is gratitude.
Rather than be pissed that your thing has changed maybe you should feel grateful that you found it in the first place? Maybe it has served you all can and now it is ready to serve somebody else? Or maybe you are being so close minded that you will not allow yourself to be open to the possibility that maybe, just maybe these changes are going to be a good thing.
Yes what you have right now is comfortable to you and yes the things that are changing can leave fearful uncertainty. But whether or not you decide to move with the change, the change is still going to happen.
When people are so entitled to a thing, they then take it personally if it is taken away or changed not to their liking. They lash out and become reactive.
“How could they do this to me!?”
Entitled people tend to forget how much joy their thing had given them in the past.. They decide to complain, ridicule, bitch, belittle and put down those that are responsible for changing their thing. (Comments section to any popular Facebook post anybody?? AFLX, The CrossFit Games)
Yes you may have a point, yes your thing may have taken a downward turn and yes their fear is of the unknown possibly valid. But regardless it is still not yours, you are a consumer of it, you may have a subscription to it, your opinions and feedback may be heard and considered. But criticising/shaming/manipulating/bullying (whatever you want to call it… I call it carrying on like a fucking baby who has lost his dummy) without confronting and not opening up thoughtful discussion achieves nothing. Not only does it achieve a big ‘ol pile of stuff all, it also puts a huge dampener on the great past experiences and joy brought on from that thing. The thing didn’t do that, you did.
If we are able to be grateful for what we came across, what joy it brought, what lessons it taught us, how it helped us grow and evolve and how much value it brought into our lives… then it should allow us to have the trust in our favourite thing and the changes it brings. It should allow us to be open-minded into what potential opportunities are to come, OR, allow us to realise that our time is up with that thing, it’s not for us anymore. We can now part ways with without any bitterness or disdain.
I am going to leave this one with a bunch of quotes from the great little book ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Spencer Johnson. I encourage EVERYONE to read it. Especially those that find themselves a little bit of an entitled bitcher and moaner with a bit of an ego problem. Yeh we know you won’t admit it, but you know you’re being a bit of a dick.
“Life moves on and so should we”
“What you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. The fear you let build up in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exists.”
“When you stop being afraid you feel good”
“The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you find new cheese.”
“When you are afraid things are going to get worse if you don’t do something, it can prompt you into action. But it is not good when you are afraid that it keeps you from doing anything.”
“It is safer to search in the maze than to remain in a cheeseless situation”